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Love and Fear and Motherhood

Last night I had a dream.  I had a dream that I lost a son.  I don't have a son, or at least not one that I know of, but I have to admit that I feel like the baby I miscarried so many years ago was a little boy. In fact, I can picture him in my mind, with his dads blue eyes and little tiny ringlets falling around his face. Some days I imagine him driving the tractor with my husband in grass filled pastures. Sometimes, I see little boys playing with cars and hugging their mama's, and I think … Continue Reading

Who is Mom?

Maybe its been a rough week. Or maybe, the universe is trying to tell me something by nudging me over the edge with annoyances and frustrations so that I will finally develop a backbone and STICK THE HELL UP for myself.  I realize that no one, and I mean no one (not even the dogs) realize that I am a human being with needs and wants and desire of my own.  I realize that being taken for granted is part of the grand scheme of family life - even though I don't believe that it is the way it is … Continue Reading

Another Blogger Idol!

Last year, I submitted the worlds worst Blogger Idol audition.  I don't know, maybe I was drunk after the inhalation of too many cleaning products, or suffering from mom-brain, or perhaps I just cracked under the pressure.  It was embarrassing really.  This year, I have decided to try again.  So try again I will. What does this mean?  This means that all 6 of my blog followers (thanks mom and dad and Aunt Sally) will be inundated with sappy and whiney requests from me on a fairly … Continue Reading

Conversations With My Daughters

Many moons ago, when I was a young girl - and I honestly felt like I was placed in a world where I didn't belong, I read (and wrote) a lot of poetry.  The stuff I wrote then, was raw, so much so that I rarely if ever drag it from my treasure box and read it now, fearful that pain I felt in those uncertain times, will come crashing down on me all over again.  It's not a place that I want to revisit.  But it is the same place that my teenagers and most teenagers are in today.  One of my … Continue Reading

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The Mom Funk

Behind the mask of every mother there is at some point an undefinable emotion curdling under the surface that reeks of sour milk. It hits each of us at random times, and no matter what - we, as women, refuse to talk about it with anyone but our closest friends - and sometimes we dont even trust them worried that they will think if we reveal our feelings, they will think we are an ass.  Instead, we put on our happy faces, cart the kids to school, show up at their games and performances, … Continue Reading

The Gift of Sincerity – A Guest Post

The following is a guest post from my friend, my sister from another life.  The fact that she can concentrate long enough to write this while raising like 457 kids - makes her a hero.  She blogs (not enough) at http://kittyhague.blogspot.com/. Last night, as I was reveling in the comfort of finally sinking into my soft cozy bed (seriously… if you don’t have a bed that is absolutely heavenly you owe it to yourself to make it that way. Even if you have to eat Ramen for a month. Make your … Continue Reading

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The 4-Day Q-Tip Experiment – IT SUCKS

I guess that I am bored - or OCD, or perhaps just uninteresting.  Any one who has the time or inclination to actually follow through with  4-day Q-Tip experiment, definitely doesn't have enough to do and shows signs of some sort of 'disorder' right? Even so - I did it anyway. Firstly, It's summer time, which of course means that the mess in my home has been amped up like a zillion times the norm, along with noise levels, food consumption, talking,  towel washing (because of the pool), … Continue Reading

Over IT – Letting Go – FU People

I have realized as of late, that I am not very good at letting things go.  Especially things that just aren't fair.  Sure, I understand that the world is not a 'fair' or ''just' place - but I do have certain expectations of adults in particular.  So when adults act like complete and utter assholes, it sort of sticks with me and I ruminate about it for days, weeks, months - okay, years! One of the most important things to know about me for anyone that gives a crap, is that I am believer in … Continue Reading

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Old People and ATM Cards

I really love old people.  I don't always like the way they smell, but I love the way they walk around this world with the knowledge that it doesn't matter what other people think.  With confidence regardless of whether their boobs are hanging out of their shirt or not.  With assertive drive that indicates their sense of accomplishment at having made it so far in life. Their wisdom comes in all shapes and forms, sizes and colors and I whole heartedly believe that they have something to … Continue Reading

The Four Agreements

I so want to be funny right now.  I would love to come up with some wildly hysterical blog post about me taking a shit on the side of the road while my kids cringed in the backseat, or about how goofy my children are, or about the silly animal control dudes who showed up at my house to catch a threesome of donkeys without a rope, or sweet feed - and in a truck designed for simpler critters like cats and dogs. But humor, at the present moment, is not in my heart. And I know my heart.  If … Continue Reading

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Break Ups, Shaving Legs, Pooping at School and Peri-Menopause

This has been a long week.  A very long week. There have been a lot of firsts in my home for my kiddos that have been painfully new endeavors for me as a mother.  Kid 3 decided it was time to shave her legs, which is a massive indicator that she is growing up, much to my dismay.  It's one thing for my oldest kids to be growing up - but for one of my littler ones, not so much.  And speaking of growing up, Kid 4 - the youngest, actually pooped at school.  This too, is a huge, massive … Continue Reading

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Judging Judgy Mc-Judgeypants

If you are reading this, than chances are you have spent some time on the internet. And you have probably heard the word 'judgy' (which isn't even a REAL word) or 'judgment' or some variation thereof thrown around with as much velocity as the 'f' word and with as much frequency as the word 'the' is used in general text. Yes, it seems that everyone is becoming or accused of being Judgy Mc-Judgypants with the same disdain that we use for armed robbers. People accuse us of judging … Continue Reading

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Compassion – Who Really Gives a Rats @ss Anymore?

The other day, my 15-year-old and I were having a conversation about the state of the world.  It was prompted by the Boston Bombings, and became a discussion about the tangled trail of human tragedies and her belief that people today don't really give a crap about other people.  In fact, she said, "People don't really give a rats @ss about things or other people unless it is happening to them or affects them personally." I tried with a hopeful heart to point out all the good things … Continue Reading

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Welcome to Yard Sale Hell! Or Not?

This spring, my family and I decided to take on a little spring project that includes revamping a 100-year-old building that is filled with junk.  The building is large, and was used long ago as a store, serving biscuits and hot coffee to the miners that mined for gold and copper in my neck of the woods during the late 1800's and early 1900's. Unfortunately, for the last 50 years however, it has been 'that place' where I store everything and anything that I don't have room for in my … Continue Reading

3 Ways Cash-Strapped Parents Can Save for Their Kids’ Summer Activities

Remember when we wrote about buying clothes for girls when you're broke? Well, if you're still broke - which most of us are when we have kids (even if our income tax returns don't quite reflect that) - and you're heading into a season of summer sports and activities, you're about to find life gets a whole lot more expensive and you're probably pulling your hair out trying to determine how you can afford to do it all. You know, you've got your kids whining (errrr, asking?) if they can go to … Continue Reading

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Where Has Mom-Spirational Gone? Bloggers Gone WILD!

For the amazing 5 of you who are actually subscribed to this blog - you might be worried that perhaps I have fallen off the face of the Earth or something.  And for those that follow along on Facebook - it may seem like I have taken a complete hiatus from writing anything new on the blog - since its been several weeks since I have added anything new. I appreciate the deep concern.  And I am here to tell you that I am okay.  Totally fine.  Wonderful.  Hunky Dory!  (You may now wipe the … Continue Reading

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Can a Licensed Professional Counselor Get You OUT of the Mom Funk

A few weeks ago, I wrote my article about the Mom Funk.  (If you haven't read the article check it out!) The article was inspired by my waking up one rainy morning at 6:15 am, rushing to the kitchen and realizing that making peanut butter sandwiches that early in the day - for other people (no matter how much I love those other people) was a tad depressing.  After all, I do the same thing every day, at the same time every day.  (Although some days, I make ham sandwiches instead of peanut … Continue Reading

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Buying Clothes For Girls – (When You Are Broke)

  One of the problems with kids, is that they just keep growing. That means that with each new season - I have the lovely chore of forcing the kids to try on last years clothes, only to find that their shorts are inches too short - or their shirts barely cover their mid-section, and their heels are hanging off the end of their shoes. I don't know about you, but the LAST thing that I strive for when it comes to what my kids wear, is allowing them to roam around scantily dressed … Continue Reading

That’s My Chair!!!

Kids are ridiculous creatures.  Sure, we love 'em, but spend almost 24 hours in a house without a power, and you will quickly be bowing your head in gratitude for technology, and TV's and everything else in the house that makes noise and therefore entertains children.  During our stint without power, the kids seemed to work extra hard to get on my nerves.  At first, they were full of new world problems that were fairly insignificant compared to all the newly bought meat that I worried … Continue Reading

Special Needs Child Meets “Me” The Asshole

I hope that most of you will read beyond the title, before berating me for what I realize now was discrimination against a special needs child.  This is a story about awakening, about being re-acquainted with my value for each and every human - regardless (and sometimes despite) their behavior.  But mostly, this is a tale of understanding.  About never forgetting. As humans - we tend to find fault or anger or make false judgment against things we don't understand. That doesn't make … Continue Reading