We have all heard the phrase when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. There are many instances in which that phrase is helpful, uplifting and can turn the average ho hum situation into something that feels okay. The truth is that the closer things are to our heart, the harder it is to make lemonade. Perhaps that is the flaw in human nature and the downside to having a mind that can fabricate so many different thoughts at once. Each of these thoughts transitions into a feeling that in the end can be confusing, disrupting and irritating. Worry and fear are always behind them.
When you child is sic it seems that no matter what you have learned or what you know the answers do not come quick enough and the results of well being are not fast enough. When even the doctors cant tell you what exactly is wrong with you child, the fear accelerates to panic. The panic leads to many horrible things. The mind takes over in directions that no mom or dad wants to go in. Does she have cancer? Is she going to die? What if they cant fix it? How long will she be in the hospital? The dirty dishes, the back up of laundry, the floors that need vacuuming, the bills that need paying, the car that needs gas, the grass that needs mowing, the job that requires attendance….all of these things fall by the way side. Who really cares about all that stuff? What I learned is that it all waits.
Most things in life wait for us. It is always us that pursues to quickly, and always our spirits that want more than we need. When you take away all the things you are left with what matters. I read somewhere that spiritual clarity comes from being attached to nothing. Perhaps the reason I cant meditate is because I am attached to my kids. I realize of course that they are not extensions of me, but I feel responsible for them in a way that cant be compared to anything else. As their mother I also realize that universal laws say they picked me, and letting them down is not an option. Somewhere inside of my, I am equipped with everything they will ever need in life. I am the one who can find the cure, the answer, the strength, the promise and the hope that they need. When I feel as though I cant provide any of that, I feel empty and lost and afraid and nervous. Maybe that is what makes us parents. The problem is that when the poo hits the fan in an instant and traditional methods don’t seem to be working most parents will search until they find something that does. When those things don’t work we are relinquished to accept only time. A good friend of mine tells me often that time is my friend. Some days, especially when my child is sick time does not feel like a friend at all. I wish I could sleep until it was over and wake up to a new sunrise with things exactly as they were before the drama hit.
Things do turn out well most of the time. Even if the turn out is not what we expected, in time it usually explains itself. This situation for me and my family has turned out okay. My daughter is fine, and time really was the answer. I still have not made lemonade though. The lemons seem too sour and harsh at this point in life. Adding sugar would only hide the bitterness. IN a few more days, my lemonade will be sweet. It will sparkle with ice cubes and crackle as it is poured. My kids will all be saying mmmmmmm. For now the lemons sit on the table, waiting until I am ready to turn them into something else. Time is my friend.