Dear Life #4

Dear Kiddos;

Why is that you have no idea what I am saying, what I am talking about, and cannot hear me when I ask you to clean your room YET can hear everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) I am talking about when I am on the phone.  Even if I am in another room.  Even if I am whispering.  Is there some alarm that goes off in your inner ear when you hear me say your name to another person?  Is this ‘selective listening’ at its finest, just plain nosiness or just another way for you to get under my skin in the hopes that one day you will send me to the asylum?  Just curious.

Love,

Mom

Give Me, Give Me, Please oh Please!

Giveaways make me feel like a 1st grader, waving my hand around saying, Please oh please, pick me, pick me!

But sadly, in my lifetime, I have only won one giveaway that I have entered.  (Sigh) And, I have entered a lot of them.  A long time ago, I used to sign up for nearly any giveaway that would help me keep my twins in diapers.  Then, it was clothes and gift certificates and for over a year now, I have been trying to win an I-Pad.

No such luck.

Then, one day I entered a giveaway for a $300 composite fastpitch softball bat.  I only entered because I thought that my 3 daughters who play would enjoy it, and I was pretty sure that I wasnt going to win anyways.  But guess what.  I did win.  And I received a $300 composite softball bat FOR MY FREAKING KIDS.  Even though the prize was not for me, I was somehow pretty excited that I won something.  Anything.  Winning is fun!  I ran around for a week chanting “Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner!”

Last week, I hosted a $25 gift card giveaway.

But today, thanks to the great people over at U-Printing, I am hosting a very different kind of giveway.

Uprinting  is offering one lucky winner the following fully customizable package.  And I can say for sure that this package of Uprinting Flyersis a great way to build your audience, brand your business, fundraise for yourself or school or advertise that up and coming special event! 

250 pcs. flyers for one (1) winner

4.25″ x 5.5″ or 4″ x 6″ 14pt Cardstock Gloss Front Only Printing

3 Business Days Turnaround

*Free shipping Restriction: Limited to *US residents 18 years old and above only

Its easy to enter.  Follow the Rafflecopter Links and answer one question about U-Printing Flyers!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Disclaimer:  You should assume that I will receive free print products in exchange for the post. Any and all reviews posted are based solely on my own experience and may be atypical. Please practice due diligence in making any related purchase decisions. Interested to hold a giveaway like this? Please sign up here.

Dear Life #3

Dear Parents Who Dont let Their Kids Watch TV,

I respect your decision to shelter your children.  And I am secretly jealous that you have the time and energy to entertain your child all day with something besides TV, possibly even doing crafts all day that involve glitter (shutter).  But please, keep your dang opinions to yourself and quit imposing your beliefs on those of us who are thankful for the boob tube.  I say to each his own.   Truth is, your children are more likely to turn out weird.  (No offense intended) 

Yours Truly,  Stef

Dear Life #2

Dear Kids,

Next time I take you to the doctor, please refrain from farting in the doctor’s office the minute the nurse closes the door.  This is what bathrooms are for.  And, while funny to see the doctor come in and try to ignore the stench emulating from the room, its embarrassing.  Next TIME….you pay the co-pay with the your allowance money.

Thanks – Love MOM

Want More Children? Are You Sure

I recently shared a post over at Professors House that sort of details how I feel about giving up the baby making phase of my life. For me, the decision that I was done was clear-cut. In other words, I was ready. Once my husband got clipped, I never once looked back or even felt twinges of regret.

I do realize however that for many women, this decision doesnt come easy. There is always that inkling in the back of a moms mind that perhaps they are meant to have another child.

Please take a quick clicking leap over to Professors House and let me know what you think.

Are you ready to give up on having more children? How did you come to the decision, or what is holding you from being certain one way or the other?

 

Bottom line, there is no right or wrong decision. This is a personal, individual decision! Blessings..

To the People I want to Punch in the Face

I don’t normally have anger issues. I really don’t. (I swear I have never even spanked my kids – which isn’tt to say they haven’t deserved it from time to time) I can always manage a way to find the Zen moments in life and tend to lean toward the friendly yang rather than his evil twin sister yin. (Yin-yang, get it? LOL)

At any rate, it seems that the last few days – oh hell weeks, there have been more than a few people that have royally pissed me off. So much so, that I thought about hanging piñatas throughout my house to fulfill the innate desire I have to punch these folks in the face. Because punching folks in the face is not really a viable option. (Is it?)

Today, I figured I would vent the best way I know how. Writing! I don’t care if the people who have peed on my cheerios as of late find twisted satisfaction from the knowing that they have managed to sway my peace loving ship toward the dark side. I’m calling all of you out!

 

  • First, but certainly not least on my list, is the nice satellite television  provider that I have been doing business with for, oh say — 15  YEARS!  (Insert screams) When you  say you are going to be at my house between 8am  and noon, don’t call me at 4pm to ask me where the hell I am?  Do these idiots have any idea what a rainy summer day is like cooped up in a home with 4 children without television.  And seriously, I got up early – put on a  stinking bra and waited around all morning for you to get here. Screw you…

 

  • To the  nice people over at Keurig.  I was  super excited when I received one of your expensive (but oh so delicious) coffee pots for Christmas.  But….I  have been waiting on a replacement part that you told me you were shipping for FREE for 3 months now.  In the meantime, I bought a $10 coffee  pot.  5, yes 5 phone calls later and the part is still on its way. (Sort of like the checks in the mail if you  ask me)  Supposedly, it has been mailed on 4 different occasions.  I imagine that someone in Indonesia  is wondering why the heck they keep receiving an itty-bitty washer from  Keurig, because they certainly haven’t shipped it to my house.  Idiots!  For a $120 coffee pot, I expected better customer service.

 

  • To my  family.  Hello, do any of you see the trash on the floor?  I’m literally tripping over empty soda cans, and stepping on potato chip  crumbs while you ALL act as if I am completely insane when I tell you to pick up your trash. And for the  record, I see the Little Debbie wrappers in between the couch cushions. 

 

  • The  fools who drive their tractors on the road, carrying hay, going like 6 mph  down one lane roads, when I have somewhere to be.  Even if I didnt have somewhere to be, this would annoy me.  Could YOU MOVE over and let those of us driving real vehicles by you?  Because NO, I don’t find your tractor  sexy. (Now Kenny Chesney, he’s sexy)

 

  • I don’t  have a degree in technology.  And sometimes, well I just need to speak to a live person on the phone to help me with my  troubles.  Someone who speaks  English.  I have decided to completely boycott all the online companies that REFUSE to display their  phone number, or that constantly redirect you to some phony support tab.  And if I have to call at 5am, just to get a customer service person on the phone that speaks English because you are taking advantage of foreign workers – you lost my vote too.

 

  • The complete morons at the new store hosting a Grand OPENING, who thought they  only needed one person to work the register.  Really? Sort of like throwing a frat party with a 6 pack of beer.  (Boy do those folks need a woman running things)

 

And sadly, this is just THIS weeks vents!! 

So tell me, who has pissed you off later.   

 

 

 

MOMSPIRATIONAL $25 GIVEAWAY

Wow! I have to say that ‘love’ and ‘like’ is alive in the universe. After relaunching the blog this week, I have been helped by so many fantastic ladies! These women dont even know me, yet were willing to offer their time and expertise. My goal was to reach 200 likes at Momspirational on Facebook by the end of the month. And look, we reached 200 likes in just a week.

First I would like to thank each and every one of you. I would like to give a special shout out to Julie over at Naptime Review. Be sure to check her blog out!

In order to say thank you,I am hosting my first giveaway.

Since I know that some of you may need diapers, while others may need groceries – and most of us need manicures and new bras, I am giving away cash. (Well at least it’s as good as cash!) Whatever you do, dont spend the $25 on your kiddos!  Be MOMSPIRATIONAL and spend it on you.  (Unless of course you really do need diapers or milk)

I am humbled and thankful for each and every one of you. Go to momspirational on Facebook (links on the sidebar) and make sure click on the giveaway tab. All you got to do is LIKE the page and *poof* your entered, thanks to Rafflecopter!  Easy, right?

Here are the details!  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Help! I have Fashion Schizophrenia

I am 41 years old. (Oh shut-up, you’ll be here soon as well)  And it seems that the older I get, the fewer clothes that I have in my possession. I went from having a great professional wardrobe, to barely having jeans without holes and t-shirts that havent been victimized by constant cleaning with bleach. Oh, and we wont even discuss the shape of my bras and panties. (Cringe)  It’s amazing my husband still thinks I am sexy.  (Which I am only assuming he does)

Every few weeks or so I get the urge to go out and get some new clothes. “This week, “I say with vindication – “I am getting mama some new duds.”

The shopping always goes something l ike this. I stroll through the store checking out the clearance aisles first. Then, realizing that most of those clothes are out of season, I head to the juniors section. Then, I realize that I am too out of ‘season’ to be wearing clothes that flash my C-section belly flab.  (And BTW, so are some of those teenagers I see walking around flashing their g-strings and Cheeto guts.  Where are their mothers?)  Then, I go to the women’s department and nearly vomit because I cannot force myself to wear clothes with appliques and embroidery.

Next stop, is the workout clothing department. Where I can always find something that pleases me because it is both affordable and comfortable and completely undated when it comes to age.

So, I come home with a new pair of yoga pants and maybe a t-shirt. A t-shirt that I can add to the collection of t-shirts I have with the names of softball teams and school clubs that my children belong to. The only difference is that these t-shirts are sans the bleach stains so far.

Stacy London would have a field day with me. One of the most difficult things about being 41 is that I don’t feel old, nor look old – but am certainly not young. Its sad when I like some of the same clothes that my teen daughters like. But I don’t want to be ‘one of those moms,’ who wears clothes out of the juniors department. And I certainly AM NOT going to wear clothes made by Alfred Dunner with cheesy embroidery on them that remind me of my grandmother.

So, I am left with what I refer to as fashion schizophrenia. And a disgusting array of clothes that are comfortable but don’t look very good on me.  Who am I?  What impression would I like to leave? 

There has to be a middle ground. But, I have seriously searched many stores and have been unable to find it. For God’s sake, I am a housewife. A stay at home wokring mom. I don’t want to be all dolled up every day (Because Frankly whats the point?) and I don’t want to look like a teenage hooker either.

Help! Have you hit an age where you are finding it harder and harder to find the ‘right’ age appropriate clothes that are also comfortable and sensible?

How a Plumber Saved My Marriage

Can a plumber really save a marriage, you ask?

Marriage troubles come in all shapes and forms.  Not too long ago, my marriage troubles came in the form of freakishly frozen pipes that left me without water for 21 days.  YES 21 DAYS!  And let me be frank, with 4 kids – NOT having water for 21 days in the dead of winter is something that no marriage (or mother for that matter) can ever prepare for.

Worse, the whole thing was my husbands fault. We were in the midst of a freezing spell, and I TOLD my husband to remember to keep the faucet dripping before he went to bed.  He forgot.  And by 6am the next day, the pipes were frozen.  I found out they were frozen as I tried to fill my coffee pot to make my morning brew.  Not having coffee in the morning is enough to make a good day go bad in and of itself….not having water, made it a million times worse. (especially because I told him to leave the pipes dripping)

Of course the problem was that once the pipe froze in one spot, the ice continued on.  And since the temperatures NEVER dropped for a week straight, we ended up with what could be plumbers nightmare (or dream depending on how you look at it).  The pipes were frozen from where they enter the house all the way to the water heater and beyond.

For me this meant the following:

  • No way to do dishes (with 6 people living under one roof)
  • No way to flush the toilet (with 6 people living under one roof)
  • No way to do laundry (with 6 people….you get the point)
  • Trips to the laundry mat
  • Continually filling up a 5 gallon bucket of water from a neighbors hose pipe to keep in the bathroom so I could flush the kids pee.
  • purchasing gallon bottles of water so I could make coffee, brush our teeth, boil water for potatoes etc.
  • Going to families home each and every night for showers (which is a complete pain in the butt)s
  • Using hand sanitizer like crazy to wash hands.

Until you don’t have water in your home, you have no real idea just how much water you use in the course of the day.  While this should have peaked my appreciation, the reality is it nearly cracked my marriage.

See my husband had to go to work every day.  This meant no time for fixing the pipes.  Plus, it took them a good ten days to unthaw.  When they did begin to unthaw, they did so in the form of splintered PVC pipes shooting water in all sorts of wild directions.  A complete and utter mess.

Mu husband the king of ‘do it yourself’ kept saying he would do it.  And then weekends would come and go, and we would still be without water.  Talk about pissed.  And frustrated.  And truly on the brink of divorce.

In those 21 days, I fabricated more dislike for my husband than ever before.  After all it was HIS fault.  He’s the one who didn’t leave the pipe dripping.  He’s the one that watched Sports Center instead of getting our water fixed.  And despite the fact that trenching under our house, replacing all the pipes was more work than I could even fathom – I wanted from somewhere deep inside myself for him to be punished for his irresponsible actions.

So one morning as I sat at the laundry mat doing umpteen loads of laundry in disgusting washers where strangers had washed their underwear before me - then waiting over an hour for all of these loads to dry…. Idecided.  It was either hire a plumber, or get a divorce.

We opted for the first choice.

So my wisdom for today…..remember to leave your pipes drippingAnd do it YOURSELF instead of relying on someone else to do it.  And hire a freaking plumber (or landscaper, electrician, construction worker etc.) rather than rely on your husband to be Mr. Fix it Upper.  I promise you, it WILL save your marriage!

 

Disclaimer:

THIS is a SPONSORED Post by Rotorooter, although all the opinions and scenarios included are my own.

Testy Toddlers……

Yeah.  So by now you probably know that toddlers are testy little creatures who can be tricky to handle.  Truth be told, children in general can be sort of annoying and generally frustrating to deal with.

It’s funny, but for me looking at toddlerhood in reverse, it is easy to see why toddlers behave the way they do.  And, with teenagers in my home now – I would gladly take the tyrannical tirades of a 3-year-old over the general bitchiness of a teenager any day of the week.

While you might never be able to explain what makes them play in their own poo – hopefully todays article over at EverdayFamily will help you understand why toddlers are so darn testy.

What do you think? Do some of the constraints of toddlerhood give toddlers an excuse for acting the way they do?