There have been a lot of firsts in my home for my kiddos that have been painfully new endeavors for me as a mother. Kid 3 decided it was time to shave her legs, which is a massive indicator that she is growing up, much to my dismay. It’s one thing for my oldest kids to be growing up – but for one of my littler ones, not so much. And speaking of growing up, Kid 4 – the youngest, actually pooped at school. This too, is a huge, massive milestone coming from a child that I thought would probably be okay with me wiping her butt until she is 20 due to her aversion to anything gross.
That, and then one of my oldest endured her first break-up, after a first relationship. And a first heartbreak to boot. I have to be the first to admit (lots of firsts here) that watching your child hurting when you are powerless to do anything about it, sucks big donkey butt.
But it also reinforced the fact that although I don’t have the perfect family, we are perfectly imperfect. I learned that even though I have suspected my daughters hated each other all these years, they don’t. Seeing them bond together to help heal the heartbreak of one of their sisters was a pretty amazing journey. On Saturday night, sitting around the kitchen table, I wanted to break out into the chorus of “We are FAMILY, I got all my sisters and me,” because it really was an empowering girl-fest which made me feel sorry for anyone who ever tried to ‘mess with’ or ‘hurt’ one of my kids in the years to come. The backlash unleashed from the sisterhood will be brutal. While my girls may not always see eye to eye or get along, apparently they come together on the important stuff in life. (And yes, I will happily take credit for some of that no matter how fleeting the ‘got each other’s back’ phase may last.
Lets put some icing on this ‘time is flying’ cake by me deciding that I have in fact hit perimenopause. (TMI?) Not really, because it really doesn’t mean anything except for that I will spend the next several years trying to convince my doctor to go ahead and get rid of my girly parts – which is something I have been doing since my last C-Section anyways.
The funny thing is that just yesterday, (and I promise it feels like just yesterday) I was reeling from being pregnant and changing twin diapers. The FUTURE is NOW here.
My biggest worry in life was whether I could get all the kids in bed on time. I was stressing over insignificant (at least they seem that way now) things such as the growth chart from the doctor, the runny nose, whether the inside of the bulb syringe was clean, the color of their poop, whether my children would ever learn to crawl or walk, and whether or not they were getting enough vegetables in their diet.
I was a stressed out hot mess back then – and today, not so much. As much as I hated thinking about the future back then when the kids would be growing up - its not so bad now that I live in it.
Even though I am dealing with bigger issues than the ones from ‘just yesterday,’ I am handling them better. Time has moved so fast, that it is no longer 4 against 1 on the home front where the kids outnumber the parents. Instead, its just one big dysfunctional, perfectly imperfect family that works together as a unit to tackle life one day and week at a time. Together. As a team. We have grown to that dreaded awful place in life where we are a team of family members.
Yes, the kids are growing up. Things are changing rapidly. And while the changes may be bittersweet, there is also something very comforting, empowering and relaxing that comes with the growth of our children.