Their wisdom comes in all shapes and forms, sizes and colors and I whole heartedly believe that they have something to teach each of us.  Lets face it, they have been around this Earth longer than we have, and they have life experiences that stem from an entirely different way of living (one in which few of us could handle today) that can definitely give us some insight as to where we are being led astray in today’s crazy ass world.

One thing I really love about old people is getting behind them in line at a store and watching them try to use their ATM or Credit card in the new and fancy machines that us younger folk can likely operate with our eyes closed.  Heck, my 6 year old knows how to swipe my card and sign my name.

Each time they approach the machine, there is at least 55 seconds of hesitancy, followed by an instinctive feeling that these new machines are completely for the birds.  Last week, while shopping at the Piggly Wiggly, I assisted an older lady who was trying to use her debit card to pay for her purchases.  She was clearly pissed, and clearly annoyed that the store wouldn’t allow her to write a check, and announced that in this world she was too frightened to carry around cash.  Her clear annoyance for the dreaded swiping machine was deeply rooted in mistrust that these machines will  actually work and her belief that this was just another trick and scheme that our government was forcing her to do so that they could one day steal all of her hard earned money.  “She worked for 57 years she told us,” shaking her head in disgust. She admitted quite loudly, that she still buried money in mason jars in her yard and told us that if we were smart we would start doing the same.  I smiled.  (And secretly wished I knew where she lived because I imagine there are hundreds of mason jars buried at her house).

When the machine asked for her PIN number, she was of course clueless.  “PIN Number!?” She screeched.  “I don’t have no PIN number, hell I cant even remember my granddaughters phone number, how am I supposed to remember a PIN number?”  More frustration.

The nice check out lady then convinced her to use her ATM card as credit.

This led to a lengthy conversation about the evils and perils behind credit cards and that she had just received her social security check and would not be charging food of all things.  She also explained that her grandson had gotten into some trouble with credit cards and pointed her soft finger and warned us younger folks to avoid the credit card scam.  Again, with a quart of ice cream melting in my arms, I explained to her as nicely as possible, that it would still come out of her checking account just like it would if she used the card as debit, and that she would not be receiving a bill, and that she wasn’t in reality using her card as a credit card.  “Well it says credit right here young lady!”  It was sort of hard to argue with that.

My words fell on deaf ears.  Not literally deaf, but ears that had likely heard so many lies and seen so many methods of deceit in one life that it makes it easy to mistrust.

“This would be so much easier if I could just write a check,” she grimaced – sliding her card through the reader one last time.  “This world is out of control.  If they don’t want us to use checks, then everyone should be forced to use cash.  I used to pay for my groceries with dollar bills and dimes back in the day before food became so dang expensive,” she quipped. “At least when I right a check, I can use my signature.”

Seeing a hole I told her, “You will get to sign your receipt here too!”  For a moment in made her feel better, until she realized that her signature would be taken on what she referred to as an etch and sketch, and that she was certain the bank would not accept her transaction because Lydia at the bank would know that was not her handwriting.  As she packed up her backs and left, I was just left to ponder.  What is it that we younger folks are missing?  What is it that the generation before us finds so frustrating about the way we handle day to day life.

Is it us that are so far ahead – or does this generation have something to learn?

As the clerk checked out my order, she said, “Like the banks really check handwriting anymore,” shaking her head in clear disdain about what she considered less than intelligent behavior from an elderly person.

But for me, this was proof that long ago, things were VERY different.

This was also some sort of proof, that perhaps our generation - as trusting as we are, as nonchalant as we have become about money and spending, are headed down a disastrous road that enables us to take too much for granted too far.  Be real, its easy to swipe a card and go.  There is something very detached about the way we handle money today, trusting technology and cable wires to transmit every little thing we do.  Maybe we are moving too fast in the wrong direction.  What if the innuendos about our money and bank accounts being tied to electronic tracking devices in our arms are true.  (Yes, a little apocalyptic and paranoid, but nonetheless thought provoking).  Chances are if you would have told today’s elderly that they would be carrying around plastic debit cards instead of cash or checks they too would have shaken their heads in utter disbelief.

Soon, as the years fly by – there will be fewer and fewer people who remember what it was like to know bank teller by name, who know about writing checks and balancing checkbooks without getting online.  And our detachment with our money will become even greater.  The people who lived through the great depression will no longer be here to teach us the simpler side of life, or to remind us that perhaps we are getting a little carried away with things.

There is a part of me that has to wonder why the older people today feel such a deep sense of despair when it comes to something as simple as a debit card and a card reading machine.  Maybe, just maybe – they are trying to tell us something.

The post Old People and ATM Cards appeared first on Momspirational.

But humor, at the present moment, is not in my heart. And I know my heart.  If something is not there, it cannot be forced.  My heart is a focused entity that forces me to walk through all the appropriate feelings, one at a time – even if they are not ones I want to feel, before I can move on.

Recently, my heart weighs heavy on some of the larger issues in life.  Like family.  And rifts in that said family. And folks who seem so determined to cause dysfunction within a family unit simply because their feelings were hurt and they want to try to CERTIFY (and demand) that others are ‘on their side,’ so to speak.

In a situation that should have been silenced out of an utter wave of respect (and love) for OTHERS, and the uncomfortable, unfair position that ‘airing the dirty laundry’ would put OTHERS in- one person took it so selfishly and shamefully upon him or herself to bully and manipulate an entire family unit around him or her to facilitate purely egotistical needs.

I will say this again.  No one can hurt your feelings unless you give them permission to.  And 90% of the times, when we (or should I say I) personally feel most offended, it is because we (or should I say I) are being mirrored with something that we already feel internally.

Yet this never means that we have to force others to suffer or hurt, or feel pain WITH US.

Years ago, I read The Four Agreements, based on Toltec Mythology, and regardless of any situation in life, I have found them to be true.  If you follow these agreements – you will live a happier life.  Here they are just in case you haven’t heard of them before.

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

When people stray from these agreements, especially by manipulating the power of the spoken word to inflict pain, by making assumptions, or by thinking everything revolves around you personally - or force people to choose sides, or say mean things – the result is never good.

Quickly, remind yourself of a gaggle of high school girls.  One girl gets mad at another girl, and suddenly the girls each conspire to form an army, and spread their ill feelings to others.  “She’s a bitch,” they say to other friends.  “You wont believe what she did,” they hiss. They start texting and calling and using Facebook to rally up soldiers on their behalf because they think they are right and another is wrong. They become driven by spite and anger, and although they try to hide it, it is obvious for the world to see.

And, also obvious to everyone around them, is that all they are doing is trying to validate THEIR OWN position, which is obviously on shaky ground, by getting others to ‘silently’ or at least ‘perceptively’ agree.  These ‘others’ are following the first agreement (which is actually intuitive in life) and trying to be impeccable with their word so as to not end up in further turmoil.  .

The problem is that these other high school girls don’t wholly agree.  They may shake their heads and smile in agreement, may say something negative themselves making the complainant feel validated in the moment, in order to keep things on the up and up, but on the inside – they are wishing that the two girls in the fight would just shut the hell up already.  The others wish they could put their hands over their ears, rewind time, and not know.  They might seem like they are on high school girl ones side, but that too is a matter of perception.  Chances are when high school girl number 2 comes around, they perceptively agree with her too, right?

Think about it – you have been in this spot before, where two people you love are having a disagreement – and one (or both) try to get you to be in their army.  It’s awful, right?

These ‘other girls’ get instantly put in an extremely precarious position to choose sides – to choose armies.  They get stuck in the middle of something that doesn’t even involve them.  And ugliness abounds. And more people get hurt.  And at the end of the day it’s just not fair to do the onlookers.  Bottom line, it isn’t their fight.   Rules 1 through 3 – and probably even 4, are now miserably broken.

When this happens within families – units of people bound together by love and blood, and history and time – the repercussions are never, EVER beneficial to anyone.  Except temporarily for the person who broke the first agreement initially, to be impeccable with his or her word. Who feels validated in the moment but who is in actuality seen as the martyr.

It’s such a sad day when this happens within family.  Or with friends.  As adults, it comes down to the choices we make.  As adults, we are able to see (or should be able to see) around corners and see the potential for pain and the suffering of those that are innocent.  That’s why we don’t blaspheme our child’s teacher, or piss off the coach, or curse the priest, and we learn to stop spreading rumors around.  Because doing so has a negative affect on innocent others - even our own children. 

When two people agree to disagree, it means they agree to stay impeccable with their word – and that they feel validated enough to hold their position without trying to destroy other things – unrelated things, around them.

And quite clearly, it’s an extremely personal and revealing choice that people make by either furthering negativity – or stopping the pain in its tracks – by respecting others (and themselves) enough to feel bound to any of the four agreements and not involving those whose heart may be hurt by our choice.

And that, my friends, is what is in my heart today. 

The post The Four Agreements appeared first on Momspirational.

There have been a lot of firsts in my home for my kiddos that have been painfully new endeavors for me as a mother.  Kid 3 decided it was time to shave her legs, which is a massive indicator that she is growing up, much to my dismay.  It’s one thing for my oldest kids to be growing up – but for one of my littler ones, not so much.  And speaking of growing up, Kid 4 – the youngest, actually pooped at school.  This too, is a huge, massive milestone coming from a child that I thought would probably be okay with me wiping her butt until she is 20 due to her aversion to anything gross.

That, and then one of my oldest endured her first break-up, after a first relationship.  And a first heartbreak to boot.  I have to be the first to admit (lots of firsts here) that watching your child hurting when you are powerless to do anything about it, sucks big donkey butt.

But it also reinforced the fact that although I don’t have the perfect family, we are perfectly imperfect.  I learned that even though I have suspected my daughters hated each other all these years, they don’t.  Seeing them bond together to help heal the heartbreak of one of their sisters was a pretty amazing journey.  On Saturday night, sitting around the kitchen table, I wanted to break out into the chorus of “We are FAMILY, I got all my sisters and me,” because it really was an empowering girl-fest which made me feel sorry for anyone who ever tried to ‘mess with’ or ‘hurt’ one of my kids in the years to come.  The backlash unleashed from the sisterhood will be brutal.  While my girls may not always see eye to eye or get along, apparently they come together on the important stuff in life.  (And yes, I will happily take credit for some of that no matter how fleeting the ‘got each other’s back’ phase may last.

Lets put some icing on this ‘time is flying’ cake by me deciding that I have in fact hit perimenopause.  (TMI?)  Not really, because it really doesn’t mean anything except for that I will spend the next several years trying to convince my doctor to go ahead and get rid of my girly parts – which is something I have been doing since my last C-Section anyways.

The funny thing is that just yesterday, (and I promise it feels like just yesterday) I was reeling from being pregnant and changing twin diapers.  The FUTURE is NOW here.

My biggest worry in life was whether I could get all the kids in bed on time.  I was stressing over insignificant (at least they seem that way now) things such as the growth chart from the doctor, the runny nose, whether the inside of the bulb syringe was clean, the color of their poop, whether my children would ever learn to crawl or walk, and whether or not they were getting enough vegetables in their diet.

I was a stressed out hot mess back then – and today, not so much.  As much as I hated thinking about the future back then when the kids would be growing up - its not so bad now that I live in it.

Even though I am dealing with bigger issues than the ones from ‘just yesterday,’ I am handling them better.  Time has moved so fast, that it is no longer 4 against 1 on the home front where the kids outnumber the parents.  Instead, its just one big dysfunctional, perfectly imperfect family that works together as a unit to tackle life one day and week at a time. Together.  As a team.  We have grown to that dreaded awful place in life where we are a team of family members.

Yes, the kids are growing up.  Things are changing rapidly.  And while the changes may be bittersweet, there is also something very comforting, empowering and relaxing that comes with the growth of our children.

The post Break Ups, Shaving Legs, Pooping at School and Peri-Menopause appeared first on Momspirational.

And you have probably heard the word ‘judgy’ (which isn’t even a REAL word) or ‘judgment’ or some variation thereof thrown around with as much velocity as the ‘f’ word and with as much frequency as the word ‘the’ is used in general text.

Yes, it seems that everyone is becoming or accused of being Judgy Mc-Judgypants with the same disdain that we use for armed robbers.

People accuse us of judging them, which always ends up in some one’s panties in a wad.  We accuse others of judging us, which ends up in our panties in a wad.  People revert to throwing out Bible quotes about judging to defend their dislike of judging, say mean and ironically enough, ‘judgmental’ things back to show their disdain for what they feel is ‘judgment’ in the first place - and most often become hypocritical products of judgment themselves.  Even worse, our entire legal system is based on judgment in the hopes of providing everyone equality.

It’s confusing, yes.  All this negativity on the inter-webs, in life, in families and especially among mom circles over something called ‘judgment.‘

Whenever ‘judgment’ is suspected, the aftermath is immediately troll like and facetious.  Mostly, however – it’s all a little bit ridiculous in my non-judgmental opinion.  Here’s why!

Somewhere along the way, likely through religious quotes such as those listed here in regard to judgment - we have decided that JUDGING, as in the verb, and JUDGMENT as in the noun are evil things only undertaken by egotistical know-it-alls with the specific intent to inflict or do harm to others.  (Funny enough, on the other hand if people AGREE with you – then they will become an army behind you defending you and in turn ripping those that disagreed apart thread by thread).

And the people constantly accusing others of being Judgy McJudgypants and getting all bent out of shape about it are in my OPINION (not to be misconstrued with judgment) people who believe everything in the world revolves around them and their opinion.  Oh my gosh, if they read a blog that they don’t agree with – then it MUST be about them specifically, whether the author knows them or not.

Yep, I’m starting to hear the lyrics to Carly Simon’s hit ”You’re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you, you’re so VAIN!”  (You can thank me later for planting that song in your head for the rest of the day!)

Seriously, make a comment about something as benign as your stance on breastfeeding or gun-control or fast food or ANYFREAKINGTHING for that matter,  and suddenly you are considered a judgmental jack-wagon who deserves to have their toenails pulled off one by one by those that DISAGREE (in their judgment) of your opinion.

People will demand apologies and retractions and will try to punish you by hitting the ridiculously unpowerful ”like” button on your Facebook page, or unfriend you personally or online.  (Oh no, please not that, right?) (Does anyone else see the irony, here)

Try making a generally informed opinion about anything and sharing it (go ahead do it, I will wait right here)- and chances are good some ass-hat who disagrees, or who feels that your words hit too close to home, will come at you with a “How dare you judge me,” remark as if you have just engraved their head stone with biting words.

Isn’t there a slight chance however that we have gone too far?  Is our own value REALLY AND SERIOUSLY so fragile that it hinges on what other people think, write or say?  Could it be that we are confusing the words CONDEMNATION and JUDGMENT

I have been accused of ‘judging’ someone else’s life a time or two and I will admit I have been put off when I felt that someone was ‘judging’ me without knowing all the facts.  However the reality is that judgment is defined by Webster’s (Wonder if any kids today know what Webster’s is)  as follows:

the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing

As parents, we are ALWAYS trying to instill a sense of judgment in our kids.  We are constantly hoping that our kids will use good judgment.  Shit, we harp on that crap all the time from the time out kids are young.  Part of being human is learning to – and having and formulating an opinion.  And moreover, just because you have one – doesn’t mean that you should be crucified for it.

Making good judgments about people, and situations and morality, and choices and life in general is a coveted skill.  Think of those among us who operate without any sort of good judgment and tell me what positive thing they add to society? We use catch phrases like, “that was a poor sense of judgment,” or “use your better judgment” all the time.

And you know what else:

If you don’t like what I say or what I think, then disagree – and move on.  If I don’t like what you say or your opinion, I can do the same.  Who cares?  Agree to disagree.

See, as human beings we are born with this thing called FREE WILL.

Free-will means that we can think whatever the hell we want at anytime.

We can even through our freedom of speech, share these thoughts and opinions that we have formed by (see above definition) without going against God or humanity.  And even more important, when we come across an opinion we don’t like, that hurts our feelings, that we don’t agree with – we can YES – decide to move on without getting our panties in a big tight ass wad that strangles us from any sort of common sense. Or we can choose to get angry, resentful, mad, or spiteful about it?  Free will gives us that choice as well.

Isn’t it a big waste of time to invest so much of our time in what other people think?

As the old saying goes, “What others think of you is really none of your business.”  And unless you feel threatened by their thoughts, or feel like they are handing you a shoe that may fit your foot just fine, then it really is okay to let it go.  Ask yourself, “Why are you so upset about this?”

Speaking from personal experience, when I have been the most upset about something – it’s because it is something I feel guilty about, or something that resonates with a part of me that I am not too thrilled to admit I have.  We use the outside world as a mirror to our inner world, and its always easier to argue with the outside world than admit that we could be flawed or weak, or have made mistakes in any way, right?

Maybe, just maybe – all these accusations of judgment and being judgy and being offended by anything that we disagree with is a more a matter of human beings with different mindsets, developing differing opinions based on cumulative knowledge or feelings.  After all, we come to our opinions about things in life for a REASON, through a process.  Sure, some of these processes are more thought out than others. 

In the mom community, the Judgy Mc-Judgypants, often referred to as ‘trolls’ are out in droves.  Why are moms so judgmental?  Probably because each of us moves through this thing called motherhood with so much insecurity.  We all want so badly to be perfect – to do everything the ‘right’ way, and anything that might seem to even ever so slightly indicate that we aren’t, has us lashing out harshly at one another to protect our oh-so-fragile maternal egos.  It’s silly, really.  We could actually be learning from one another, spreading love and support and empowering each other rather than constantly being accusatory and defensive.

At the end of the day – it is not my opinion (even if it is seen as a judgment) or your opinion (even if it is seen as a judgment) that matters.  And if it does, then perhaps WE have something internally we need to work on in our own lives.

Disclaimer:  This is just one woman’s opinion and is not to be taken personally by any one person or persons and in no way pertains to anyone specific.  If you don’t like it, move the hell on! 

The post Judging Judgy Mc-Judgeypants appeared first on Momspirational.

It was prompted by the Boston Bombings, and became a discussion about the tangled trail of human tragedies and her belief that people today don’t really give a crap about other people.  In fact, she said, “People don’t really give a rats @ss about things or other people unless it is happening to them or affects them personally.”

I tried with a hopeful heart to point out all the good things people do.  The way communities come together to help a family, the way churches and organizations form to volunteer time and resources to help others.  The good things that often stem from a tragedy, the friendships made in cancer wards etc.  She wasn’t buying it.

She told me a story about a boy in her class who committed suicide last year.  Up until he did so, she said the teachers and administrators at her school as well as the bulk of the student body were ‘mean’ to this kid.  She believed he had been written off, despite that he was known for smoking pot and getting into trouble and was probably in need of some help.  Then, his funeral turned into a city-wide event – and filled a church to the gills and beyond with people crying and sobbing what she believed were fake tears of guilt.  Many of these same people decimated by his death, adults and children alike,  were the very ones who had nothing good to say about this boy, and who never once reached out a hand or extended themselves to him.  In her eyes the mourning and production in the aftermath was fake, and only a resolution to guilt that people were feeling for treating this young man as disposable to begin with.  And she points out that today, almost a year later – very few people even talk about this young man anymore.

She talked about how at school most young people only get involved in other people’s problems because they are nosy, and likened it to rubber- neckers on the highway slowing down to see an accident.  For a split second they feel compassion, they may offer a word of kindness or some advice, or metaphorical blanket of warmth in the moment - perhaps send up a prayer – but then they move on and give the situation little further thought because it didn’t affect them.

She had in fact, tons of examples of fake compassion.  And although a large part of my hippy self wants to believe that there are a lot of people in this world who truly care, and who truly reach out to others – I have to admit that in many ways she is right. 

There are more people who are willing to remain complacent than there are who are willing to give something – whether it be their time, resources or heart.  We do tend to easily forget, quickly discard, and rapidly un-invest in anything that doesn’t affect us personally.

Sure, we all feel bad about things that happen.  We all hate to see people suffering, see the loss of life, see horrific tragedies like bombings or mass shootings.  And while it may instill many of us with fear and anger – the awful reality is that the majority of the world just moves on shaking their head.  If you gathered the percentages of those that help compared to those that do nothing – it would likely be shockingly low in relation to the overall population.

Why do people help?  What makes someone reach out to someone with an honest heart and compassionate soul?  For those that do because they care, it is simply that.  They care.  And they see humankind as an extension of themselves and realize that if they are able to help and spread love, then they should.  They even feel compelled to do so at a deep self and spiritual level.

And yet, in my young daughters defense, there are plenty of people who reach out momentarily only to relieve their own guilt or fear or anger or resentment about situation.  And plenty of other people who will message you on FB, approach you in the grocery store, or send you a text to check on you just so they can find out what is really going on in your life.  The information alone satisfies them, although their reaching out is done under the veil of compassion – it isn’t really compassionate at all.  It is self-serving and riddled with guilt.

I am not sure that there is a solution to this, or even if this can be classified as a problem.

Perhaps we are living in a world that has become desensitized to one another – that is living by a motto of “every man and woman for himself.”  Or perhaps this is just a defense mechanism so that we aren’t overloaded with fear and misery, and overwhelmed by taking on the broken wings of every bird in the world.  Truth is, I don’t know the answer.

She asked me if our house burned down, who would help us?  She asked me if I were to die and her and her sisters were to lose their mother, how long would it be before people forgot and moved on with their own lives?  And as far as the bombings and mass shootings and terrorist attacks – she reminded me that as soon as the news coverage is over, most will just forget and move on – while thousands of others will be affected for the rest of their lives. And she’s right, the ones personally affected will never forget.  But the rest of us, sadly….will.  Or will at least push it to the back of our minds.

She said, “Mom, is giving those people water – or collecting their shoes or selling t-shirts, really enough?  Or is it just a way for people to make themselves feel better about themselves – boosting their own ego temporarily?” 

I will admit that I was left in awe of her wisdom.  And saddened by her lack of faith in humanity.  I like to believe the best about people.  I like to think that I have raised my daughters to find the good in others, and to be compassionate souls.  But having people literally run over your dog in front of your house – then drive away without even slowing down to apologize while you stand there and watch a beloved pet die – leaves a sharp scar about the compassion in this world.

Still, I will continue to point out the good things to my daughter.  Will continue to try and keep her faith in humanity as inherently good alive.  I just wish the world would help me out a bit.

What’s your take?  Do people really care about one another?  Or are many acts of kindness just ways to inflate our own egos?

The post Compassion – Who Really Gives a Rats @ss Anymore? appeared first on Momspirational.

Unfortunately, for the last 50 years however, it has been ‘that place’ where I store everything and anything that I don’t have room for in my home. If I didn’t need it, didn’t want it, or wanted to get rid of something ridiculous that my husband that was suitable home décor, it went to the shed.  Stealthily, I would sneak out there with boxes and totes to hide all the unwanted items.   

My kids decided that we should get rid of all the stuff and have a yard sale to raise money for their softball team.  My father in law, decided that as we were cleaning 100 years worth of stuff, we would separate out the metal so they could recycle that to be used for their team as well.  And so, the process began.  And holy crap, did I realize that we had a lot of stuff.  Dirty, old, junky, stuff.  And of course, there were plenty of other things in that shed – that had probably been there 100 years that were worth some sort of money if only I knew what it was I was looking at.  It was one of those days when I wished the crew from American Pickers would stop by and help me sort through the stuff.  (They didn’t!)

There were old CD’s an Atari gaming system, about 500 tapes (does anyone remember those), old radios and plenty of items leftover from my husband’s childhood.  Along with dishes and light fixtures, clothes, nails and knick- knacks, old bottles and things that I didn’t even know existed.  All this stuff was toppled with more stuff, and cleaning out the old shed turned into a 2 day feat that left me dirty and tired and nostalgic.

It also left quite a bit of stuff in numerous piles strewn about the yard.  Environmental chaos.  And I honestly didn’t feel like I had the energy left to host a yard sale and certainly didn’t want to bicker about prices or have my yard turned into a flea market.  So I did a little research and with the helps of a friend found out that many of the items found in the shed could be sold (easily) at MusicMagpie.com  and others on Ebay.  And most of the stuff (aside from the metal that is STILL sitting in a recycle pile) was happily thrown away.

Getting rid of things you don’t need, want or use anymore really is a liberating feeling.  And I believe that discarding old things makes rooms for new things.  Even though we rarely used the shed, there was a part of my brain that knew all that stuff was sitting there stagnant in the shed.  Cleaning it out, and having a fresh space to start over with – felt like quite an achievement.  And making a little bit of money by selling some of these treasures online and otherwise, well that was just the icing on the cake.

Now, if only I could get my UPS man carpenter husband to finish replacing the rotten wood and get the new tin on the roof, my kids would have a great place to party!  (Or maybe I would have a wonderful place to exercise)  The only problem is that every time I am in that building by myself, I get a waft of the scent of biscuits and coffee and hear hoof-beats in the distance.  (Must be my imagination playing with me!)

The post Welcome to Yard Sale Hell! Or Not? appeared first on Momspirational.

Remember when we wrote about buying clothes for girls when you’re broke? Well, if you’re still broke – which most of us are when we have kids (even if our income tax returns don’t quite reflect that) – and you’re heading into a season of summer sports and activities, you’re about to find life gets a whole lot more expensive and you’re probably pulling your hair out trying to determine how you can afford to do it all.

You know, you’ve got your kids whining (errrr, asking?) if they can go to horseback riding camp, take swimming lessons, or play baseball. You know that these are activities that would enrich their lives. You also know that it’s going to be a very long summer if you don’t get them out of your hair while they’re out of school for the season.

So, even if you don’t think you can afford to do it all, desperate times come to desperate measures and there are ways you can make it work for the sake of your sanity.

1. Find ways to save on  activities - many children’s activity programs offer discounts if you register early. They want to have registration completed well in advance,   that way they know whether the program is worth running, and so they can staff it accordingly. What these activity programs also know is that  parents just are not well-organized in advance without motivation, after      all, we’re extremely BUSY! But money is motivation, so they offer these  discounts. Seriously, they do, you might just not know it if you’ve never  asked early enough. So, try it, you may find that you get something out of it that helps your budget on your kids’ activities!
2. Save on other things for  the kids – even if you’re saving on things that are unrelated to the  activities, you can “find” money by saving on the kids’ usual expenses if you are a smart shopper. If you’re sneaky enough about it, the kids will never notice that anything’s changed in their lives either. If you promised your little boy or girl a room makeover if they get good grades,  that’s still an option. Just look for a Pottery Barn Kids promo code instead of buying furniture and decor at full  price. You can also shop wisely for their summer clothes, using some of  the tips you learned when you read my other blog about how to cut back on kid-related expenses. Your kids won’t know the difference, but you will when you have extra money available to you.
3. Spend less on  activity-related equipment - there are coupons at NerdWallet and  other coupon and discount sites that can help you reduce the cost of  sporting equipment, and virtually anything else kids might need when they are getting out of the house. If your kid is trying a new activity for the  first time, it’s also wise not to drop a bundle because they might only  use that baseball bat for one season and decided they’d rather do ballet instead. You can buy used, shop when there are sales or use coupons to  help save money.

If you implement these tips, you might just find that your kids and all things that you have to provide them with are a little less expensive.

The post 3 Ways Cash-Strapped Parents Can Save for Their Kids’ Summer Activities appeared first on Momspirational.

I appreciate the deep concern.  And I am here to tell you that I am okay.  Totally fine.  Wonderful.  Hunky Dory!  (You may now wipe the sweat beads of worry off your brow – and THEN, please subscribe in the box to the right so that you will NEVER miss out on anything from Mom-Spirational ever again!)

Okay – so where has Mom-spirational gone?  What is up with the blog?  Is everything okay in the estrogen filled, old white house with the red tin roof and crooked floors?  Is someone sick or dying? 

The answer to all of these questions is unimpressive.  (I tried to think of something really cool to use as an excuse, but couldn’t even imagine a more exciting and fun-filled life than the one I really own.)

I have been here all along.  *Sigh*

The problem is that LIFE HAS COME RAINING DOWN on my perfectly planned parade, and every time I sat time aside to write, or to get things done – someone would holler, “Mama.”  Or the phone would ring.  Or the toilet overflowed.  Or my beloved dog would get out of the dog pen and I would have to chase him before the crazy ass bike riding twit came hurling down my road looking to sue me again.  You get the point!

We have had school projects, softball season has started (with 4 kids playing and coaching 3 teams), mid terms, spring break, and the horrific state-wide testing has commenced (which means tons of cramming and homework)  Plus, there is that shitty little thing called dinner that must be cooked every day (which if you know me – you know is the bane of my existence), some home improvement projects looming, generalized cleaning and of course laundry.  Then of course there are the hundreds or seemingly thousands of phone calls to make, appointments to plan, bills to pay etc. that eat up minutes like kids eat up candy.  And if I am really lucky, I can sneak in a shower (which I swear only takes me 10 minutes from start to finish, including hair drying).  Throw in a little grocery shopping, errand running, a party or two at school, returning calls to the people who are important to me, – and I will be the first to admit that I have become completely overwhelmed with life.   And now that Spring has sprung, grass cutting is becoming a necessity as well.

I have decided that I need a DO NOT DISTURB sign to hang around my neck.  Or, I need to ship the kids off for a week just so I can think and so the voices in my head will stop.

This makes no mention of the fact that I have paying gigs to write for, and that I spend more time in my car every day than in my bed. Sadly, I don’t even have writers block!  Here’s the PROOF, just check out some of the amazing things I have written lately!  And on top of that, Andrea over at AKAY Web Design (she’s amazing) has been helping me get our Softball site up and running.  (You need to check it out)

It’s so funny to me that the world thinks I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.  My husband is always saying, “just write your book already,” and the kids think that between the hours of 8am and 1pm every day, I should be able to get things taken care of at home, phone calls, my work life, the house.  You name it.  What they think I can accomplish in 5 hours, is more than what 5 of me could accomplish in 5 hours.

And that’s the story. (I am sure you know it well, right?)

One of the reasons that I bow out from any of the garden duties around this farm, is because I know how much time and effort a garden takes.  If I take that on, I will spend hours weeding and picking fruits and veggies, and cranking up the tractor. So I let the kids, hubby and father in law deal with all of that.  But having a blog, is very much like having a garden.  It takes time and commitment, and nurturing and love.  You have to be able to nurse social media, and spend quality time writing.  If you don’t put time or effort in – your blog will look like mine – empty for two weeks!

But, I am back!!!!!  Even if it is just for three or five of you who care – mostly my blog is for me.  So I have decided that I will at least set aside 30 minutes a day, with the do not disturb sign around my neck – to baby this dream of mine.  

So hey!  Do me a favor and subscribe the blog, like us on Facebook – and make all this hard work pay off a little.  (I will return the favor)

The post Where Has Mom-Spirational Gone? Bloggers Gone WILD! appeared first on Momspirational.

Did peanut butter sandwiches, mounting laundry piles, a sink full of dishes, smelly arm-pits, physical exhaustion, a lack of creativity and motivation really mean that I needed professional help?  I don’t know.  But I do know this.

Here’s the thing.  Life is monotonous.  For women, for mothers – and hell, even for fathers and our children and teenagers - life is often about settling into routine that works.  But just because it works doesn’t mean that it is fulfilling, or satisfying, or that it prompts us to be at our best creatively and emotionally.

Prolonged, the feeling of being stuck in a rut can lead to all sorts of anxiety disorders, stress problems, and even depression.  When those feelings strike – its easy to feel like a total failure because the reality is – we all have so much to be grateful for.  How can we feel stuck in a rut, or bored, or restless, or depressed, or anxious – when we have so much abundance in our lives.

That is my number one pet peeve with self-help.  Often, it doesn’t tell us that it is okay to feel bad.  We are reminded to choose our destiny, choose our thoughts, take control of our own happiness to the point that when we don’t have those ‘cushy unicorn feelings’ we feel like failures.

My advice is short and simple!  Talk it out.  Talk to a friend, your mother, your aunt.  If your neighbor will stand at the fence long enough to listen to you rant – then use her ears as a sounding board.  See a counselor, or a therapist if you are truly overwhelmed with your duties in life, or need to be redirected to find inspiration.  Lean on your spouse.  Have a conversation with your dog or your kitty cat.  Use Facebook as a place to vent so that you feel less alone, because you will be surprised at the amount of people who come out of the woodwork to say, “HEY, ME TOOOOO!”  And this, feels validating.

My friends, we all have problems or issues.  There are times when each of us needs someone to lean on.  If you don’t know who to turn to, look for a counselor – or email me, and I will at the very least try to make you laugh!

**This is a sponsored post, but all opinions, advice and ideas are my own**

The post Can a Licensed Professional Counselor Get You OUT of the Mom Funk appeared first on Momspirational.

One of the problems with kids, is that they just keep growing.

That means that with each new season – I have the lovely chore of forcing the kids to try on last years clothes, only to find that their shorts are inches too short – or their shirts barely cover their mid-section, and their heels are hanging off the end of their shoes.

I don’t know about you, but the LAST thing that I strive for when it comes to what my kids wear, is allowing them to roam around scantily dressed like Hoochie-Mama’s wearing clothes that are too tight, or too risqué.  (Which by the way is incredibly difficult these days with the fashions being marketed to young girls.  Do they really need to be wearing lace and see through clothes that could double as lingerie?  To School?)

Once the trash bags of old clothes are filled up and ready for donation – the closets bare, I begin looking for bargains.  Buying for 4 girls is not an easy task on any budget, and the truth is that without coupons or sales, or promotions from stores – I would only be able to buy a few items at a time.  My mother in law firmly believes that children should have around 10-14 outfits per season that they can rotate shirts and pants to make several different outfits.  (And thankfully, she helps buy school clothes for the kids)

Often, with patience and a little research I find deals such as save 15% off everything from my favorite stores.  Since it can be difficult to fit my daughters into new clothes shopping online - but the prices are often cheaper, we often just make a day of going to the store – finding what we like, writing down the item numbers and then bulk ordering online. In the past few years, I have saved quite a bit of money shopping this way, plus many of the online promotions allow you to bundle coupon codes from sites like Retail Me Not

I am also certainly not opposed to second-hand clothing stores.  I am lucky enough that in my area there are quite a few consignment shops that cater to pre-teens and teenagers as well as elementary school kids and I can often find entire name brand wardrobes second-hand for what one single outfit would cost retail price.  Many of these stores also offer coupons or deals, and have frequent shopper cards and/or seasonal sales. Shopping in these stores has also been a great lesson for my children, showing them that you don’t have to pay full price – or necessarily shop at the ‘most popular’ stores in the mall to walk away with decent clothing.   Yard sales, and even E-Bay are also great ways to buy clothes for rock bottom prices,

I know for a lot of parents, the easiest way to save money on buying kids clothes is to buy out of season.  Unfortunately, this has never worked for me.  Every time I have tried to buy winter clothes at the end of the season, I have found that they didn’t fit come the following winter.

Just last week, despite the fact that Mother Nature is insisting that it will be boot and scarf weather for the next month or so, Yellow Box flip-flops (a must have for today’s teens) went on sale at a local store.  With a store coupon and an in store coupon code, I was able to buy 4 pairs for the retail price of 2.

You will find that keeping kids in clothes that fit is not only time-consuming, but expensive. The realization that they will grow out of everything you buy at some point – makes trying to save money on clothes a no-brainer.  After all, if your family is anything like mine – you have plenty of other things to spend your hard-earned money on.

How do you save money on clothing and accessories for your children?

The post Buying Clothes For Girls – (When You Are Broke) appeared first on Momspirational.