Confession here. Due to a recent switch in the entire mental make-up of my 5 year old that has turned her into a totally hot mess, I am now the mother of that child.
You know the one. The little girl that despite being beautiful is determined to wear the ugliest clothes she has in her closet. The one who has the stinkiest shoes on the planet because she refuses to wear socks and shoes at the same time, because apparently that is some form of rare torture.
The child that has the longest most beautiful hair in the world, who desires to look like Rapunzel – yet refuses to tame the quaff. despite threatening to cut her hair (which I wouldn’t do without her sort of consent) she sees me approach with a brush and instantly behaves as though I am coming toward her with a shot needle. Despite the amazing braids that her eldest sister can do – she refuses to allow her hair to be anything but down. And poofy.
Suddenly, she hates showers. Suddenly she has an opinion about everything. And I am just too old, too tired (or too lazy) to fight with her about every little thing.
I know, I know, I am the mother and all that. I make the rules. I have the power to decide what shit I will put up with, and what is acceptable
But you see, at this point I am just happy that she brushes her teeth, changes her underwear and takes a shower. I don’t want to fight with her about every little thing.
I don’t have the patience to do so (nor the time) with three other kids to worry about. And I don’t want to start out each and every morning with drama. So I handed over the powers of choice to her. (And boy can you tell!) As long as the basics are covered – she is clean – her clothes are clean – I gave up giving a damn about her sudden idiosyncrasies.
I went through this same damn phase with my third child. Eventually she snapped out of it and I imagine that this one will too. (At least I hope so) Perhaps some mean little girl in her class will tell her that her feet stink, or ask her why her hair has a big rats nest at the tips where she cannot reach with the brush and this will persuade her into changing her ways. Or, maybe she will just get passed this phase on her own.
Yesterday, determined to replace her stinking ass cowboy boots that she loves to wear we spent three hours shoe shopping. And despite trying on over a dozen pairs of shoes and two separate stores - none of them ‘felt good.’ She did like a pair of flip-flops of course because they didn’t hinder her claustrophobic feet – but I can’t go so far as to send her to school in flip-flops in January. She already is ‘that child’ that doesn’t think she needs a coat.
I wonder if her teachers and other parents take a look at her outfits and her unkempt (however clean) hair and wonder what the hell is wrong with me? I wonder if other parents walk into the school and see her crazy little outfits that she picked out herself and question what kind of mother that little girl has? Chances are all the newbie young moms who stick big bows in their daughter’s hair and dress their kids in monogrammed designer clothes (that look clowinsh to me) talk about me behind my back and feel sorry for my poor little hot mess of a kindergartener.
Yep, I have become the mother of that child.
The good news is that the buck of this disturbing behavior ends with me because she is an absolute angel at school. Every one loves her and tells me how sweet she is. (Sticking finger down my throat) So I must be doing something right. Right!?