It’s 8pm. And so far today, I havent experienced five seconds of quiet. The first thing I heard this morning when I woke up was an alarm clock beeping in my right ear. And everything from that point forward has had me wishing, hoping, praying even – that my ears would be silenced for just a few minutes. Even the bathroom isn’t a suitable escape.
One of the things that no one ever told me about motherhood was how noisy it is. The kids are always making noise. They crave noise – which to me is an utter distraction to the peace that exists in my head. They are listening to music, singing, asking questions, talking, bickering, all out arguing, watching television, playing games on their Ipods,while I am suffering from noise overload.
‘Right now, Spongebob’s voice is driving me insane in the background and my phone is making annoying twittles to alert me that someone, or something needs me. It’s 8pm people! just go away already!
The last time I heard silence, was last week when tornadoes ripped through a town just a few miles north of where I live. In the moments before the storm, I sat huddled with my kids watching the funnel cloud and hoping that it would miss my house. And in that moment, the entire world around me was hushed of sound – or even air. But dammit, I couldn’t enjoy it then because I was scared out of my gourd.
So the noise, the sounds….continue. I have to admit that there are moments when I wish everyone would just be quiet for 5 minutes.
But I also know that in the silence will probably come loneliness. So for today I fore-go the urges to tell everyone to shut the hell up and I listen. Intently and sometimes with admitted annoyance at the sounds of my life.